The Day Mr Lynch Went Crazy
by Red Witch
Summary: A Home Movies fic. From the episode 'Honkey Magoo', where Mr. Lynch has a nervous breakdown in class, but nobody seems to care.


**I don't own Home Movies. I love the show and this is my first fanfic about it. Just a bit of insane rambling of what happened during 'Honkey Magoo'. Basically it's what happened in class or what I call…**

**The Day Mr. Lynch Went Crazy**

This was not a good day for Brendon. He woke up and found that the crazy puppy, which he called Honkey Magoo, had gone to the bathroom in his bed and destroyed nearly all his tapes all before school. But as bad as his day was, someone was having a way worse one. 

Mr. Lynch was supposed to teach about animal biology but instead ended drawing cat pictures with his fingers in the chalk dust on the blackboard. (The school still didn't have enough funding for chalk.) Then he started to really go nuts. 

"My cats!" He wailed and pounded on the blackboard. "I'm never gonna see them again! And we don't have any chalk! Because this school doesn't have any money! Meow! Meow!" 

"Brendon what's wrong with Mr. Lynch?" Melissa asked. "He looks pretty upset." 

"Well last night I went to Mr. Lynch to see if he would take the dog," Brendon explained. "You know to see if he could help out but it kind of made things worse."

"My cats! My precious kitties!" Mr. Lynch shouted. 

"How did it make things worse?" Melissa asked. 

"He chased off all his cats," Brendon told her. "He's got five of them you know. Well he had five of them anyway…" 

"Brendon that dog of yours is really getting to be a menace," Melissa told him. 

"Oh now he's **my **dog?" Brendon asked sarcastically. 

"Well you were the one that wanted him so bad you cheated at Potatoes," Melissa huffed. 

"You were the one who whined about not taking him so much!" Brendon pointed out.

"That's because you were being a total jerk about it!" Melissa snapped.

"I was not!" Brendon snapped.

"You were too!" Melissa folded her arms. 

"Was not!" 

"Were too!" 

"MEOW!" Mr. Lynch was crying and rolling around on the floor, imitating a cat. He was even playing with an eraser like it was a ball of yarn. "Moo Moo! I want my Moo Moo!" 

"Admit it, Brendon you were totally being unfair!" Melissa kept arguing with Brendon. 

"Okay, fine I wanted the dog!" Brendon threw up his hands. "I admit it! I wanted the dog all to myself. Of course if I'd known it was a hyperactive destructive maniac who poops all over the place and destroys everything in sight I never would have resorted to such…to such trickery to take him! In fact, I wouldn't have even saved him! I would have just let McGurk run him down and he'd be street pizza! Are you happy? What you want me to get down on my knees or something?"

"Pretty kitty…" Mr. Lynch shouted. "Pretty kitty better than stupid no chalk school!" 

"You want me to get down on my knees Melissa?" Brendon snapped. 

"Excuse me I don't want to interrupt your argument but shouldn't somebody be doing something?" Junior blinked as he watched the scene. "Mr. Lynch is rolling around the floor like a crazy person. He is acting like a kitty cat. That is not right."

"Ah I wouldn't be worrying until he starts throwing up hairballs," Fenton remarked. 

"But this is a class," Junior said. "What are we supposed to do? Just sit here and watch him act crazy?"

"That kind of sounds good to me," One kid nodded. 

"Hey look at the bright side," Fenton snorted. "At least we got out of doing stupid stuff today."

"Yeah and what kind of homework is he gonna give us?" Another kid laughed. "An essay on how to go crazy?" 

"He's got a point," Brendon remarked. 

"MEOW!" Mr. Lynch was now in a fetal position. "MEOW!" 

"Hey Lynch," Coach McGuirk walked in. "I heard you had some money and I need to borrow…Whoa, what happened here?" 

"Our dog kind of wrecked his house and chased off all his cats last night," Brendon told him. "He's still a tad upset." 

"I HATE THIS #$#$%%% SCHOOL!" Mr. Lynch screamed. "I HATE THIS PLACE WHERE NOBODY CARES ABOUT ANYTHING! NOBODY CARES ABOUT MY CATS OR ME OR CHALK! WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE ABOUT CHALK? IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK THAT WE HAVE AT LEAST ONE STICK OF CHALK TO WRITE WITH IN THIS CLASSROOM! ONE LITTLE STICK OF CHALK SO I CAN DRAW PICTURES OF MY CATS SO I CAN REMEMBER WHAT THEY LOOKED LIKE BEFORE THAT…THAT EVIL DEMON DOG FROM HELL CHASED THEM AWAY!" 

"Wow Lynch you're really freaking out here," McGuirk blinked. "Man and I thought I had problems!" 

"MY CATS! MY CATS!" Mr. Lynch cried. 

"I guess now's a bad time to ask you for money huh?" McGuirk sighed. "Geeze I gotta get myself some new friends." 

"What do we do now coach?" Melissa asked. "Should we call the nurse or something?"

"Maybe," McGuirk scratched his head. "Oh wait if we do somebody's gonna have to take over class and it will probably be me. And that will really cut into my schedule here. Just um…stay here and watch him. I suppose someone else will come along. I'll see ya later." He left the room. 

"Well I guess this pretty much kills the whole day," Brendon sighed. "Man no wonder we're behind all the other classes." 

"I just thought of something," Melissa looked at Brendon. "Is Mr. Lynch still the acting principal?"

"Well if he is I don't think he's gonna be much longer," Brendon remarked as Mr. Lynch scratched at the chalkboard. "Maybe it's just as well, he doesn't seem like the type to handle stress very well."


End file.
